Juggling Too Many Balls? Which to Keep and Which to Drop
Feeling overwhelmed with the endless tasks and responsibilities you’re holding onto? You're NOT ALONE.
In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s all too common to find ourselves 'Juggling Too Many Balls,' trying to keep them all in the air.
In today’s post, I want to talk about how to know which balls to keep and which to drop - because otherwise, you’ll end up dropping the WRONG ones or ALL of them at some point.
Just Two Hands, So Many Responsibilities
As a solopreneur private practice therapist, running my own business while redesigning my website, branding, and attending to other to-dos can be overwhelming.
Having so much to juggle, I find myself confused about priorities and which tasks need my attention first.
LOTS of my clients have the same problem—juggling too many balls! From working moms, single parents, full-time workers, ministry leaders, and more, attending to all of these responsibilities is HARD, especially for people who serve as the main pillars of their home and support the whole family.
It can be so so easy to forget yourself in the midst of all the hurry.
Many of my clients are particularly susceptible to neglecting themselves when the responsibilities pile on. Like many Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and empaths, they have a tendency to attend to the needs of OTHERS before their own, until they hit burnout or build a lot of resentment.
Sounds like you? Do you feel like you have too many balls to juggle?
This brief mind exercise can help you assess all you have to juggle and quickly determine which items will break or bounce and which ones to drop altogether — giving you the tool to prioritize what matters most and tend to your own needs.
Learn more about self-care tools for Highly Sensitive people.
Juggling Balls in a Crisis
In times of crisis, juggling responsibilities can be even harder. If you had a harder time managing everything during significant personal transitions, such as moving to a new home or going through a divorce, you are NOT alone. These events often bring numerous changes to our daily lives, adding more balls for us to juggle. And these transitions are NOT the only crises.
A crisis can be any drastic change to stress levels, such as a death in the family, a new baby, loss of a job, or simply putting more on your plate.
When we encounter a crisis, we MUST switch gears on how we operate. We can’t keep running at the same speed while taking on more tasks and making more adjustments.
If you try to juggle all the balls, you WILL drop some (or most). Decide which ones you could afford to drop before the juggling decides FOR you.
Rubber, Glass, or Wood?
Imagine that you are a juggler handling lots of balls, where each ball reflects a particular task or responsibility.
More and more balls get added to the act when you encounter a crisis. Some things that get added don’t matter as much, but since there is so much movement in the mix, you don’t notice exactly which ones hold less importance.
Discerning whether a ball is made of RUBBER, GLASS, or WOOD is key.
RUBBER BALLS
These are tasks or aspects that DO matter, but they have some resilience/sturdiness or are able to be outsourced.
Even if you drop these, they’ll bounce back and be fine.
Example #1: Your kids’ grades during busy seasons
In normal times, you might help your kids with homework, sign them up for extra-curricular activities, etc., but during exceptionally busy periods, such as a family move, a health emergency, or a major project, academics may be less urgent. Their grades are STILL important, but there are ways to attend to them LATER; they can afford to wait a little.
Once things settle down, you can catch up on these needs through tutoring or remedial work.
Example #2: Finances
So many people I’ve worked with have built an emergency fund only to NOT use it because they’re so used to minimizing their own struggles and downplaying their own needs.
Emergency funds are useless if you’re dead.
If you feel like you’re DROWNING, perhaps NOW is precisely the time to tap into that! When you feel like you can BREATHE again, then replenish that rainy day fund.
Example #3: Work
I work in Silicon Valley with tons of people who put their careers center stage. I’ve seen people make huge sacrifices for their career goals and become miserable.
Work may SEEM like work is absolutely essential, but what good is making a lot of money if you can’t ever use it? WHY are you working? What are you working FOR?
Do check to see whether you’re pushing yourself so hard because you feel like there’s no other option. Panic brain is a TERRIBLE consultant in isolation (think “Fear” from Inside Out). Your industry or professional field may also have vested interests in telling you, “You better _____, OR ELSE.”
When your body shuts down from slaving away for 60+ hours a week and you’re lying on a hospital bed, don’t be surprised if your coworkers and boss (who are slaves themselves) don’t show up.
Show up for the people in your life who will ALSO show up for YOU.
GLASS BALLS
Glass balls are tasks that really matter and will NOT bounce back if dropped; they are not resilient and sturdy, and they are irreplaceable. They might get scuffed up or scratched, sometimes cracking, other times shattering altogether.
It is extremely difficult (and costly) if not impossible to repair damaged glass balls. Best to never drop them at all.
Example #1: Your Health
You have ONE body, ONE brain, and ONE heart. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. When any of these give out, you’re DONE.
Don’t think you’re saving money by not paying the copay for physical check-ups. You might miss the chance to do something about a condition that’s totally treatable early on, but that might become severe or terminal when left unaddressed.
(The same applies to your mental/emotional health, btw. The consequences of burnout, depression, or anxiety are MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE than therapy, y’all.)
Example #2: Your Relationships
No one ever PLANS on getting divorced when they get married. It HAPPENS because many signs were ignored. Statistically speaking, most couples reach out for couples therapy SEVEN YEARS TOO LATE. By the time they sit down on the therapist’s couch, their relationship is so far gone that it’ll take a miracle for them to work through all the pain, strain, and blame.
Don’t assume your loved ones will continue to give you a break when you cancel on them. Don’t make it so that NO ONE shows up while you’re lying on a hospital bed except to maybe ask you for the Netflix password.
WOOD BALLS
Rubber balls are important, but NOT urgent.
Glass balls are BOTH important AND urgent.
Wood balls are neither important NOR urgent. They’re just CLUTTER - things that got thrown into your juggle cycle because you couldn’t pay attention to what it was and didn’t screen for it.
Examples?
Helping a friend gather signatures for a petition that doesn’t matter to you, but you didn’t want to hurt their feelings by saying no.
The third book club that you signed up for because you had FOMO.
Responding to every single email to get the satisfaction of hitting email zero.
Spending hours on Amazon because it’s Prime Day.
What do you do with wood balls? If you feel overwhelmed and frenetic, this is not the time to also juggle wood balls. DROP THEM. NOW.
When you feel rested and are able to move at a leisurely pace - that’s the time for you to (consider) playing with wood balls again.
DISTINGUISH THE THREE!
Take some time to discern what you’re juggling. Here’s a blog on my counseling website to help prioritize tasks and some reflection questions to help you distinguish the three:
HOW MANY balls are you juggling right now? Write a list of all the things that you’re carrying.
How many balls are RUBBER? (Which are resilient - can afford to take a hit and can bounce back)? (color: pink)
How many balls are GLASS? (Which could be permanently impacted if dropped or are difficult to repair?) (color: blue)
How many balls are WOOD? (Which don’t make a difference if you forget them?) (color: brown)
What are some glass balls that fell to the floor and need to be repaired?
Which rubber or wood balls seem like glass? Which can you drop NOW?
If you find that most/all of them seem like glass balls, decide which 3 things are absolutely essential - these are your glass balls. Treat the rest as if they’re rubber.
If you carry too many grocery bags at once, you WILL drop them. So PICK which two bags to carry FIRST.
Share your experiences and insights below, or connect with me at hello@intelligentemotions.com.
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Joanne Kim, Feelings Translator
Hi! I’m a therapist-turned feelings coach who helps Highly Sensitive Persons, Empaths, Enneagram 2s & 4s, etc. turn their BIGGEST feelings into their GREATEST superpower!
They are often the first (or only) person in their family to intuitively process and express feelings; consequently, they are often judged or criticized so that they learn to people please, placate, or perform until they hit a wall.
They’re super familiar with anxiety, guilt, and shame, partly because of an allergic reaction to anger (theirs and others').
Often the super responsible, empathic, and ethical person in their environments, they reach out to me after they're already burned out, resentful in their relationships, or sucked into their shame spiral.
The most common feedback I get from people when I share about how feelings work is,
"Why didn't anyone teach me this in school??"
Hence, I am building a school helping people work WITH their feelings so their feelings work FOR them.
In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s all too common to find ourselves 'Juggling Too Many Balls,' trying to keep them all in the air.
Prioritize tasks before making irreparable mistakes by identifying which of these juggled “balls” are made of rubber, glass, or wood.